


Addicted To My Own Self-destruction

by Eugene_Kline_Sims



Category: Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Evan Hansen inspired, Gen, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, RENT and Dear, Rafael and Cody are BFF, Sorry Cody, Sorry Raf, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 01:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11117019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eugene_Kline_Sims/pseuds/Eugene_Kline_Sims
Summary: Title taken from a quote!Cody Burns is used to being perfect. Except he isn't thankfully Raf will always be willing to pick up his broken pieces.





	Addicted To My Own Self-destruction

He doesn't know. Rafe doesn't know and Cody planned on keeping it that way. Rafe doesn't know that Cody still has nightmares about Griffin Rock. He doesn't know that Cody hates himself. He doesn't know that Cody will spend hours tearing himself up mentally. 

Useless

Fat

Ugly

Die already!

Slut

Mistake

He doesn't know about Cody crying himself to sleep and he sure as hell doesn't know about the cutting. Rate was into drugs and Cody was into self harm. It had started by scratching himself but after awhile that wasn't enough. He needed something that would bite so he did exactly that until that wasn't enough and then and only then he took a blade to his skin. Honestly it was only a one time thing until it wasn't. Everytime he was melting down the blade was out and Cody would think.

Just this time. Then I will stop. I swear this is the last time.

Except it never was. Cody was always going back. Digging a blade across his skin or whatever sharp pointy object he could get his hands on. It would be used against him and he knew it was wrong but Jesus email couldn't stop. After all that one quote what was it again ah yes.

I am addicted to my own self destruction.

Was so painfully true that it wasn't even normal. Rafe and Cody had lost someone due to suicide slit her wrists and Cody knew he should stop. He didn't want to die and leave Rafe by himself. Because the minute Cody died Rafe wouldn't be too far behind. They were that dependent of each other. So Cody did they only thing he felt he could do. He took classes to learn where all the major veins and arteries where. So he would never hit there. Leaving the house to get groceries Cody bid Rafe a farewell. After all his blades were starting to dull he needed to get a new set. He had tried to cut with a dulled blade once and wound up in the hospital. Dulled blades required sawing downwards and it was far last coordinate. Hitting a vein he had passed out. When he woke up all his friends were there. They asked about the scars and Cody played it off has a shaving accident and just being lost in thought. People bought it after all Cody didn't have a history of suicidal tendencies or depression and now a days he wasn't exactly steady on his feet. Breaking something every other month is seemed like. It was from that moment on that he used sharp blades. He didn't need a repeat offense that would be to suspicious so without fail every little bit of his weekly paycheck went to buying more blades.

When he got back Cody was struck with how quiet the apartment was. Rafe and Cody's Apartment was never quite. Why would it be? All there friends practically lived there and Rafe was always talking to himself is seemed or Cody was blaring music. So the quiet was off putting.

“Rafe! I’m back. What's the matter?”

“Tell me it's not true.”o

“What?”

“You know exactly what! So tell me that it's not what I think it. Oh God tell me I'm wrong!”

At this Rafe paused his voice shaking and looking up again he started talking. At this point he was fill out crying and he was sort of hunched into himself. Then Cody saw the open container off self harm. Feeling his legs go out from under him. A keening sound left his lips. This wasn't happening. Nobody was supposed to find out. It was supposed to be Cody’s dark little secret.

Not such a secret now Burns! Or little for that matter. 

Together Rafe and Cody cried together. Until Rafe summoned the strength to be by Cody. Even then that wasn't enough because he stumbled and flung his arms around Cody. Kissing the top of Cody’s head. Rafe rocked his best friends back and forth. Muttering in a mixture of Spanish and English. Repeating words over and over.

“Cody.”

“Dios(God) Cody!”

“Lo siento mi amigo. Lo siento.”(I’m sorry my friend. I’m sorry.)

“Perdónome Amigo.”(Forgive me my friend)

Cody simple weeped harder. Muttering that he wasn't fine, he was sorry and please don’t go over and over. To which Rafe responded by muttering he knows and I won't. I will not ever leave. Cody had a long road to recovery but at least Rafe was there with him. He could do this. They could do this. Just one step at a time. The road was long and treacherous and seemingly neverending but together they could conquer this. After all this was only one chapter in their life story and everything is always easier with a friend by your side.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Boom! 807 words and I am done! Jesus this is the longest thing I have ever written notice one go! So this is just one set up of an AU with Rafe d Cody are roommates. I don't own any of this. Quick note on the Spanish some of hates what I can remember from Spanish Two and/or Google translate. Forgive the inconsistency because of ya’know Google and halfway between the school year my teacher gave birth. So we had a sub who spoke South American Spanish. Our teacher was teaching us the Spain side if things and I have never been more confused. Anyway comments are away a lovely treat! If it sucks tell me. If it's good tell me. If you want to kill me. As for an explanation to this. This is what happens when I am scowling through Transformers Rescue Bots and my phone is on shuffle. It goes from Dear, Evan Hansen to RENT. Also when I start plotting especially with the Spellbound episode. My thoughts immediately go to what if. Also Cody and Rafe are in there twenties. I repeat they are in there twenties! I wouldn't do that to an eleven year old! Anyway toodles and I will take requests.


End file.
